"Straight Up and Dirty"

I started reading "Straight Up and Dirty" by Stephanie Klein. As a writer, and a person who doesn't mind occasional constructive criticism, I'd like to say that I do like the plot line of this story so far. A girl in her late 20's, recently dumped by her fiance and life love, tries to get back into the dating scene. A realistic (as memoir's should be) story any girl who has been dumped at such a fragile time in life (wedding time) could relate to. However, I sometimes find her sentences to be a overly decorated. I often times try to write sentences to appeal to the audience as well. That's what writing is about. But it is also about knowing the balance between catching the writer's eye and over-feeding them with detail. Of course, this is my personal opinion and many of you may disagree. If you do, I'd love to hear it.

"Doors slam, windows open suddenly and, 'meant to be' flies in and sticks like marmalade on the sill of your life."